I've figured it out! After years of dating, finding relationships, ending relationships, balancing work, life and love - I know now why I'm still single. It's because I was born in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 2:06 am on July 6, 1983. Finally! A rational explanation! Let me explain...
Tonight I had my second date with Mr. Straight Talk. As I mentioned before, I was only going out with him again to get material for the blog, but it turns out that I actually had a nice time with him (go figure). Maybe there's a lesson in here about writing people off after a bad first date - he certainly was more charming than on Thursday, and MUCH less argumentative. Don't get me wrong - I still think he has serious issues with the difference between "fact" and "opinion," but I now find it kind of cute rather than grating. Regardless, however, he did deliver on my original hope - plenty of material to entertain you all!
It turns out that Mr. Straight Talk subscribes to the traditional practice of Indian astrology. He won't go so far as to make life decisions based on his horoscope, but he believes that your "sun sign" does indeed affect your personality. Apparently your sun sign is determined by both the sun and the moon, and his point was that since these two celestial bodies can affect the oceans on earth in the form of tides, why can't they affect the waters in your body as well? And if it affects the waters in your body, it can affect your chemical balance and hormones and therefore your personality. I definitely don't buy the logic, but he seems pretty committed to it. Regardless, this led to a fascinating discussion about the traditional characteristics of different sun signs. It turns out that I am a Gemini in Indian terms (whereas I've always known my Zodiac sign to be Cancer), since their calendar is about a month off from the Zodiac calendar in terms of determining signs. Anyway, he mentioned that it was possible to do your own sun chart (also called a Kundli) online as long as you have all the right information, and so we got online and did my chart. I don't buy into any of it, but it's still fun to see what it says about me! The information that the system requires is your gender, exact date, time and place of birth. We're talking latitude and longitude, people. I don't think I can attach the document itself to this blog, but I'll provide you with some highlights:
Relating to the reason that I'm still single: Saturn was in my seventh house when I was born (the seventh house relates to my marriage). This means that I'm going to have a delayed marriage, or may not get married at all. What the hell, Saturn? What did I ever do to you? Frickin jerk. Apparently a delayed marriage means taking place after 28, 32, or in some cases, 42. I'm incredibly thankful that the Indian definition of a "delayed" marriage is about the same as a "perfectly timed" marriage in my book (except for marrying after 42, I'm fine with the other two timelines mentioned).
My horoscope tells me that I am "more clever than most other people." I'm starting to understand why people like to believe these horoscopes - if they make you feel smarter than other people then of course you'd want to believe everything that's written there. I won't venture to say how my level of cleverness compares to anyone else's, but I'm pretty sure that my genetics and upbringing played a bigger role in it than the sun, moon and stars...
From the period of February 1989 to Feburary 1995, I was destined to have a relaxing period of my life. I was supposed to be blessed with good health and victory over my enemies. I'm not sure about this particular prediction - I remember losing out on the part of Clytemnestra in the school play in 3rd grade SAGE, and am still smarting over that. I had to be in the stupid Greek chorus instead. That certainly didn't feel like victory over my enemies.
My sun chart says I am "not particularly well suited to a business or commercial life, since these demand a practical nature which you do not possess." Aside from my proven aptitude to kick ass at being practical, I'm pretty sure the University of Chicago Booth would beg to differ with my horoscope...
Big news - the board games I've invented will eventually be picked up by Milton Bradley! At least I assume that's what is meant by "you will, at times, make large sums of money by your inventive ideas." So everyone who said the rules were too confusing for the average person to follow, suck it! I'm gonna be rich!
"When anger overtakes you, you are irritable, quickly roused, easily annoyed, and devoid of patience." Consider this your warning, people: don't fuck with me. The guys on the motorbikes with tomato stains on their foreheads can back me up on this.
There's plenty more - if you want to get the full PDF of my sun chart, email me :).
After we reviewed my document, then we moved onto an even MORE fun part of the website - we had the site map both of our sun charts and then produce a compatibility report! You all will be SHOCKED to find out that Mr. Straight Talk and I are not a good match for marriage. Out of a total score of 36 points, we only scored 16.5 (ouch). Plus he has a "High Mangal Dosha" whereas I have "No Mangal Dosha" and if he doesn't marry someone with at least SOME Mangal Dosha then it's likely that his marriage will be plagued with illness and possibly premature death. Sounds plausible, no?
Some great quotes from the report are below:
"The boys bhakoot rasi is Meena and the girl belongs to Mesha bhakoot. This is a difficult coalition. The boy may regard that the girl does not cope well on certain domestic issues. In turn, she may feel that he is too bossy to be tolerated."
"It will be very difficult for them to adjust to the living style, moods and feelings of the other. Sometimes they may sense that their thinking is not only different, but polar opposite with each other."
"There will be ups and downs in romance and at many times love will be missing altogether. But sometimes the girl will be overemotional and the boy will never be able to understand the reason."
"The girl is likely to regard the boy as selfish, materialistic and worldly status while the boy is likely to regard the girl as lacking in ambition, practicality and common sense. However, we give importance to overall compatability. If that exists, there is no harm to go for this alliance."
I think that says it all. You all are invited to our wedding on an auspicious date in June of 20never.
Tonight I had my second date with Mr. Straight Talk. As I mentioned before, I was only going out with him again to get material for the blog, but it turns out that I actually had a nice time with him (go figure). Maybe there's a lesson in here about writing people off after a bad first date - he certainly was more charming than on Thursday, and MUCH less argumentative. Don't get me wrong - I still think he has serious issues with the difference between "fact" and "opinion," but I now find it kind of cute rather than grating. Regardless, however, he did deliver on my original hope - plenty of material to entertain you all!
It turns out that Mr. Straight Talk subscribes to the traditional practice of Indian astrology. He won't go so far as to make life decisions based on his horoscope, but he believes that your "sun sign" does indeed affect your personality. Apparently your sun sign is determined by both the sun and the moon, and his point was that since these two celestial bodies can affect the oceans on earth in the form of tides, why can't they affect the waters in your body as well? And if it affects the waters in your body, it can affect your chemical balance and hormones and therefore your personality. I definitely don't buy the logic, but he seems pretty committed to it. Regardless, this led to a fascinating discussion about the traditional characteristics of different sun signs. It turns out that I am a Gemini in Indian terms (whereas I've always known my Zodiac sign to be Cancer), since their calendar is about a month off from the Zodiac calendar in terms of determining signs. Anyway, he mentioned that it was possible to do your own sun chart (also called a Kundli) online as long as you have all the right information, and so we got online and did my chart. I don't buy into any of it, but it's still fun to see what it says about me! The information that the system requires is your gender, exact date, time and place of birth. We're talking latitude and longitude, people. I don't think I can attach the document itself to this blog, but I'll provide you with some highlights:
Relating to the reason that I'm still single: Saturn was in my seventh house when I was born (the seventh house relates to my marriage). This means that I'm going to have a delayed marriage, or may not get married at all. What the hell, Saturn? What did I ever do to you? Frickin jerk. Apparently a delayed marriage means taking place after 28, 32, or in some cases, 42. I'm incredibly thankful that the Indian definition of a "delayed" marriage is about the same as a "perfectly timed" marriage in my book (except for marrying after 42, I'm fine with the other two timelines mentioned).
My horoscope tells me that I am "more clever than most other people." I'm starting to understand why people like to believe these horoscopes - if they make you feel smarter than other people then of course you'd want to believe everything that's written there. I won't venture to say how my level of cleverness compares to anyone else's, but I'm pretty sure that my genetics and upbringing played a bigger role in it than the sun, moon and stars...
From the period of February 1989 to Feburary 1995, I was destined to have a relaxing period of my life. I was supposed to be blessed with good health and victory over my enemies. I'm not sure about this particular prediction - I remember losing out on the part of Clytemnestra in the school play in 3rd grade SAGE, and am still smarting over that. I had to be in the stupid Greek chorus instead. That certainly didn't feel like victory over my enemies.
My sun chart says I am "not particularly well suited to a business or commercial life, since these demand a practical nature which you do not possess." Aside from my proven aptitude to kick ass at being practical, I'm pretty sure the University of Chicago Booth would beg to differ with my horoscope...
Big news - the board games I've invented will eventually be picked up by Milton Bradley! At least I assume that's what is meant by "you will, at times, make large sums of money by your inventive ideas." So everyone who said the rules were too confusing for the average person to follow, suck it! I'm gonna be rich!
"When anger overtakes you, you are irritable, quickly roused, easily annoyed, and devoid of patience." Consider this your warning, people: don't fuck with me. The guys on the motorbikes with tomato stains on their foreheads can back me up on this.
There's plenty more - if you want to get the full PDF of my sun chart, email me :).
After we reviewed my document, then we moved onto an even MORE fun part of the website - we had the site map both of our sun charts and then produce a compatibility report! You all will be SHOCKED to find out that Mr. Straight Talk and I are not a good match for marriage. Out of a total score of 36 points, we only scored 16.5 (ouch). Plus he has a "High Mangal Dosha" whereas I have "No Mangal Dosha" and if he doesn't marry someone with at least SOME Mangal Dosha then it's likely that his marriage will be plagued with illness and possibly premature death. Sounds plausible, no?
Some great quotes from the report are below:
"The boys bhakoot rasi is Meena and the girl belongs to Mesha bhakoot. This is a difficult coalition. The boy may regard that the girl does not cope well on certain domestic issues. In turn, she may feel that he is too bossy to be tolerated."
"It will be very difficult for them to adjust to the living style, moods and feelings of the other. Sometimes they may sense that their thinking is not only different, but polar opposite with each other."
"There will be ups and downs in romance and at many times love will be missing altogether. But sometimes the girl will be overemotional and the boy will never be able to understand the reason."
"The girl is likely to regard the boy as selfish, materialistic and worldly status while the boy is likely to regard the girl as lacking in ambition, practicality and common sense. However, we give importance to overall compatability. If that exists, there is no harm to go for this alliance."
I think that says it all. You all are invited to our wedding on an auspicious date in June of 20never.
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