It's time for a dating update - there's been way more drama around my love life lately than I anticipated, and it's all stemming from one source: Mr. Straight Talk. This dude needs a filter or a muzzle or a Xanax or something (or maybe it's me that needs the Xanax)...
We've been on three dates already - the third (and final) was last night. Between the dates, however, we are communicating every day, sometimes for hours at a time (mostly over gchat or text). The problem with this is that nearly every conversation with him turns into an argument, and it's starting to feel like we're an old married couple. Oh and did I mention he's kind of an asshole?
I still think that he's fun to argue with sometimes, but I realize I only enjoy the arguments if they're a spirited debate on a politically sensitive topic. As an example, on Tuesday we were debating vegetarianism and whether it's realistic for all humans to go veg. That was fun - engaging, spirited, and challenging. Some of our other conversations, on the other hand, have had the opposite effect on me. I walk away feeling frustrated, annoyed, and oftentimes insulted. Let me give you some examples:
Me: "Do you know how to solve a Rubik's cube?"
Him: "No, do you?"
Me: "Yes :)"
Him: "You are the smart one..."
Me: "Damn straight I am."
Him: "Yeah right"
Me: "I'm sensing sarcasm..."
Him (in the middle of a debate): "Read my words well, dear"
Me: "Don't patronize me by calling me dear in this context"
Him: "I don't need to patronize you. Because you're being illogical anyway."
Him: "We can meet up at 10 for the 10:35 movie tonight."
Me: "Your enthusiasm for our date is palpable."
Him: "Stop being so sarcastic."
Me: "Stop being so charming."
Me: "Do you even want me to come to the movie? You're acting angry with me all the time..."
Him: "I am acting angry? How?"
Me: "Well you called me obnoxious today and selfish yesterday..."
Him: "lol"
Him: (tries to imitate an accent of a Chinese person speaking English)
Him: (expects me to laugh)
Me: (silent)
Him: "Yeah I guess it didn't sound as funny as I had hoped..."
Me: "No, it didn't."
He also told me that what he's looking for in a wife is someone who knows how to cook and clean. No, he wasn't joking.
So yeah - this guy is a total d-bag. On top of that, he's alluded to things that - at least in my book - are WAY beyond where we are in our relationship. When my phone malfunctioned and sent him several blank text messages in a row, he responded back with a flurry of text messages demanding to know where I was and why I wasn't answering him. When I didn't reply (since I wasn't paying attention to my phone), he starts calling me every 10 minutes until I pick up. Then, later that very same night, he tells me that he's actually been planning on settling in the US long term, and so maybe he should try to move there this year "with my support." I ask him what he means by support, and he says "you know, moral support, help with my visa, etc." I tell him I'm happy to provide moral support but am in no legal position to sponsor him for a visa since we're not married and we're not related. That ended the conversation - I really hope he doesn't bring it up again. Also, his quest to get me to agree to be a vegetarian full time (including once I leave India) is another red flag for me because he had also told me that his wife will have to be a vegetarian or else his parents won't approve the marriage. Listen, buddy - I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in marrying you. I'm left wondering what is leading him down this path toward thinking that we're actually in a relationship. He knows I'm dating other people, for crying out loud! Apparently my opinion doesn't really matter on this topic, though, since he's just going to think whatever the hell he wants to think. And right now he wants to think that I am falling in love with him or something (shudder). In fact, he JUST pinged me with this link. Yikes.
You're probably wondering why I even went on the third date with him last night. I almost didn't go, actually, but we had agreed to meet up for a movie days ago, and I didn't want to be rude and cancel last minute. Plus I wanted to see the movie (it's a Hindi Bollywood romcom - not nearly as good as DDLJ but the production quality was impressive). I try to live my life treating everyone around me the way I would like to be treated, and that includes assholes who are rude to me. I wouldn't want someone to cancel on me last minute after we've had plans in place for a while, so that's why I went. Plus I didn't have to talk to him a lot last night since we were watching the movie most of the time we were together.
I have to admit that the 15-year-old girl in me relishes the drama (who knew she was still alive?), but the 29-year-old me says that I'm too old for this shit. The debates about the shades of grey around vegetarianism don't outweigh the effort required to stand being in the same room as this guy, so I'm going to cut off contact with him. Yes, I know that he is an endless source of amusement and blog fodder, but it's getting to the point where I'm worried he might introduce me to his parents or something. Don't worry, readers, there are plenty of other eligible bachelors lined up waiting to take his place. My next post will be Episode 2 of the Dating Game, so stay tuned...
We've been on three dates already - the third (and final) was last night. Between the dates, however, we are communicating every day, sometimes for hours at a time (mostly over gchat or text). The problem with this is that nearly every conversation with him turns into an argument, and it's starting to feel like we're an old married couple. Oh and did I mention he's kind of an asshole?
I still think that he's fun to argue with sometimes, but I realize I only enjoy the arguments if they're a spirited debate on a politically sensitive topic. As an example, on Tuesday we were debating vegetarianism and whether it's realistic for all humans to go veg. That was fun - engaging, spirited, and challenging. Some of our other conversations, on the other hand, have had the opposite effect on me. I walk away feeling frustrated, annoyed, and oftentimes insulted. Let me give you some examples:
Me: "Do you know how to solve a Rubik's cube?"
Him: "No, do you?"
Me: "Yes :)"
Him: "You are the smart one..."
Me: "Damn straight I am."
Him: "Yeah right"
Me: "I'm sensing sarcasm..."
Him (in the middle of a debate): "Read my words well, dear"
Me: "Don't patronize me by calling me dear in this context"
Him: "I don't need to patronize you. Because you're being illogical anyway."
Him: "We can meet up at 10 for the 10:35 movie tonight."
Me: "Your enthusiasm for our date is palpable."
Him: "Stop being so sarcastic."
Me: "Stop being so charming."
Me: "Do you even want me to come to the movie? You're acting angry with me all the time..."
Him: "I am acting angry? How?"
Me: "Well you called me obnoxious today and selfish yesterday..."
Him: "lol"
Him: (tries to imitate an accent of a Chinese person speaking English)
Him: (expects me to laugh)
Me: (silent)
Him: "Yeah I guess it didn't sound as funny as I had hoped..."
Me: "No, it didn't."
He also told me that what he's looking for in a wife is someone who knows how to cook and clean. No, he wasn't joking.
So yeah - this guy is a total d-bag. On top of that, he's alluded to things that - at least in my book - are WAY beyond where we are in our relationship. When my phone malfunctioned and sent him several blank text messages in a row, he responded back with a flurry of text messages demanding to know where I was and why I wasn't answering him. When I didn't reply (since I wasn't paying attention to my phone), he starts calling me every 10 minutes until I pick up. Then, later that very same night, he tells me that he's actually been planning on settling in the US long term, and so maybe he should try to move there this year "with my support." I ask him what he means by support, and he says "you know, moral support, help with my visa, etc." I tell him I'm happy to provide moral support but am in no legal position to sponsor him for a visa since we're not married and we're not related. That ended the conversation - I really hope he doesn't bring it up again. Also, his quest to get me to agree to be a vegetarian full time (including once I leave India) is another red flag for me because he had also told me that his wife will have to be a vegetarian or else his parents won't approve the marriage. Listen, buddy - I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in marrying you. I'm left wondering what is leading him down this path toward thinking that we're actually in a relationship. He knows I'm dating other people, for crying out loud! Apparently my opinion doesn't really matter on this topic, though, since he's just going to think whatever the hell he wants to think. And right now he wants to think that I am falling in love with him or something (shudder). In fact, he JUST pinged me with this link. Yikes.
You're probably wondering why I even went on the third date with him last night. I almost didn't go, actually, but we had agreed to meet up for a movie days ago, and I didn't want to be rude and cancel last minute. Plus I wanted to see the movie (it's a Hindi Bollywood romcom - not nearly as good as DDLJ but the production quality was impressive). I try to live my life treating everyone around me the way I would like to be treated, and that includes assholes who are rude to me. I wouldn't want someone to cancel on me last minute after we've had plans in place for a while, so that's why I went. Plus I didn't have to talk to him a lot last night since we were watching the movie most of the time we were together.
I have to admit that the 15-year-old girl in me relishes the drama (who knew she was still alive?), but the 29-year-old me says that I'm too old for this shit. The debates about the shades of grey around vegetarianism don't outweigh the effort required to stand being in the same room as this guy, so I'm going to cut off contact with him. Yes, I know that he is an endless source of amusement and blog fodder, but it's getting to the point where I'm worried he might introduce me to his parents or something. Don't worry, readers, there are plenty of other eligible bachelors lined up waiting to take his place. My next post will be Episode 2 of the Dating Game, so stay tuned...
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