Last night Ami, Kevin and I hosted our (belated) housewarming party! Various attendees were quick to point out the fallacy of the term by noting that we live in an apartment, not a house, and that we've nearly reached the midway point of our residency there, but I don't think that "I Just Want To Have a Party On My Awesome Balcony Before My Time Here Is Up" has the same ring to it...
I was so happy to hear feedback from everyone yesterday about my last post. I'm glad that so many of you can find entertainment by living vicariously through my dating life. It's fascinating to me to hear everyone's opinions on whose date invitations I should choose to accept - I was expecting everyone to answer the same 1 or 2 people, but everyone has a different opinion! Beware that I'm mentally inferring things about your taste in romantic partners based on the advice that you're giving me. Side note: my mom pointed out that it wasn't clear from yesterday's post that I haven't actually met all of these men. I really hope you all know me well enough to understand that I wouldn't actually meet up with Mr. Slick & Slimy, but I wanted to set the record straight in case of any lingering ambiguity. So far I've gone on 3 dates with Bachelor #1 and will be going on my first dates with Bachelors #2, #3 and #4 in the next week.
A particular thrill for me was to find out how many of my Indian friends are reading my blog as well (whatup India peeps!). I began writing this as a way to keep my family and friends back home apprised of what I'm doing all the way over here, plus to keep a record of the ridiculous things that happen to me (and that I perpetrate on my own). I'm honored that people who already live in Mumbai find at least some of what I have to say relevant enough to spend their time reading it, so thanks to all of you!
On that note, I have a few other things to say to some of the people in my life - some comments are more sincere and others lean toward sarcastic - and am choosing to use this forum for that purpose.
To my flatmates Yummy and Klam - I heart you both :)
To the cleaning crew in our apartment: Thank you for doing what you do. I honestly don't know where the trash should go once the bin is full in my apartment, which is both hilarious and sad at the same time. Thank you also for not questioning the sticky floors or mysterious stains on the bathroom towels from last night (it's red wine and diet coke, in case you're wondering).
To the makers of red Solo cups in the US: what distributors do you partner with in Mumbai? The plastic cups we bought yesterday were clearly inferior in their efficacy at flip cup and beer pong. I think we can dramatically increase your sales here by spreading the popularity of those drinking games, so it's in your best interest to get back to me with the name and address of a preferred supplier.
To the person(s) who turned on my shower last night and left it running, then turned off several light switches in my bedroom, including the ones providing power to my phone charger and air conditioner, I have only one question for you: why?
To the one person who RSVP'd "yes" to the party last night and did not show up: you're dead to me. Seriously. No more intellectually stimulating late night conversations will be sparked only by your charming go-to pickup line, "hey." This girl isn't falling for the same old line more than 20 times, no sir-ee... Even fewer conversations will be prompted by the numerous facebook profile photo changes you make per day...except conversations happening at your expense while you're not around, of course.
To myself: Next time you host a party with drinking games, buy more beer. Wine is a much less popular choice during waterfalls whilst playing Kings Cup.
To the men on the street who stare at me all day, every day: I know I'm not the only white person you've ever seen. I see other white people here in Mumbai (nearly) every day, so clearly it's not like I'm THAT novel of a sight. Maybe if I looked like the little-person Martian with three breasts from Total Recall then I would understand the staring, but I think we all can agree I don't resemble that woman all that much. Please take a photo because it will last much longer than the eyeful that you're getting in the fleeting moment you see me...plus the photo will significantly lower the likelihood that I will start throwing produce at you, grabbed hastily from one of the many nearby street vendors. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. Bunch of Tomatoes: 30 rupees. The look on your face when I knock you off your motorbike with a well placed throw of one of those tomatoes: priceless.
To the person who decided that women's clothing in India should almost always be worn with leggings: you're my hero. I've never had a more comfortable wardrobe than the clothing I've bought here. Except for maybe my extensive collection of sweatpants back home, but those are a little harder to pull off with heels.
To the people in Russia, South Korea and the Ukraine who are reading this blog: who the hell are you and why do you care about what I'm doing in India? I don't recall knowing anyone in those three countries, so I have to guess that you're either conducting research on snarky American slang, you too are planning to move to Mumbai for a period of 3 months and want to learn from my mistakes (hint: Smaash isn't actually a restaurant), or that you have so little going on in your lives that you spend all day using blogs of random tourists as a window to the outside world. If you make yourselves known via the comments section then I'll send you some home-made chocolate chip cookies or something...if only for my own peace of mind to know that I haven't gained any additional foreign stalkers on top of the ones I already have (cough-Tunisian dudes-cough). That's a topic for an entirely different blog, though.
To anyone interested in attending our next fabulous party, stay tuned. We'll have to come up with another excuse for having a party - how about "Let's Drink The Wine We Didn't Finish At The Last Party?" Don't worry, we'll have cheese there too. Because we're classy like that.
I was so happy to hear feedback from everyone yesterday about my last post. I'm glad that so many of you can find entertainment by living vicariously through my dating life. It's fascinating to me to hear everyone's opinions on whose date invitations I should choose to accept - I was expecting everyone to answer the same 1 or 2 people, but everyone has a different opinion! Beware that I'm mentally inferring things about your taste in romantic partners based on the advice that you're giving me. Side note: my mom pointed out that it wasn't clear from yesterday's post that I haven't actually met all of these men. I really hope you all know me well enough to understand that I wouldn't actually meet up with Mr. Slick & Slimy, but I wanted to set the record straight in case of any lingering ambiguity. So far I've gone on 3 dates with Bachelor #1 and will be going on my first dates with Bachelors #2, #3 and #4 in the next week.
A particular thrill for me was to find out how many of my Indian friends are reading my blog as well (whatup India peeps!). I began writing this as a way to keep my family and friends back home apprised of what I'm doing all the way over here, plus to keep a record of the ridiculous things that happen to me (and that I perpetrate on my own). I'm honored that people who already live in Mumbai find at least some of what I have to say relevant enough to spend their time reading it, so thanks to all of you!
On that note, I have a few other things to say to some of the people in my life - some comments are more sincere and others lean toward sarcastic - and am choosing to use this forum for that purpose.
To my flatmates Yummy and Klam - I heart you both :)
To the cleaning crew in our apartment: Thank you for doing what you do. I honestly don't know where the trash should go once the bin is full in my apartment, which is both hilarious and sad at the same time. Thank you also for not questioning the sticky floors or mysterious stains on the bathroom towels from last night (it's red wine and diet coke, in case you're wondering).
To the makers of red Solo cups in the US: what distributors do you partner with in Mumbai? The plastic cups we bought yesterday were clearly inferior in their efficacy at flip cup and beer pong. I think we can dramatically increase your sales here by spreading the popularity of those drinking games, so it's in your best interest to get back to me with the name and address of a preferred supplier.
To the person(s) who turned on my shower last night and left it running, then turned off several light switches in my bedroom, including the ones providing power to my phone charger and air conditioner, I have only one question for you: why?
To the one person who RSVP'd "yes" to the party last night and did not show up: you're dead to me. Seriously. No more intellectually stimulating late night conversations will be sparked only by your charming go-to pickup line, "hey." This girl isn't falling for the same old line more than 20 times, no sir-ee... Even fewer conversations will be prompted by the numerous facebook profile photo changes you make per day...except conversations happening at your expense while you're not around, of course.
To myself: Next time you host a party with drinking games, buy more beer. Wine is a much less popular choice during waterfalls whilst playing Kings Cup.
To the men on the street who stare at me all day, every day: I know I'm not the only white person you've ever seen. I see other white people here in Mumbai (nearly) every day, so clearly it's not like I'm THAT novel of a sight. Maybe if I looked like the little-person Martian with three breasts from Total Recall then I would understand the staring, but I think we all can agree I don't resemble that woman all that much. Please take a photo because it will last much longer than the eyeful that you're getting in the fleeting moment you see me...plus the photo will significantly lower the likelihood that I will start throwing produce at you, grabbed hastily from one of the many nearby street vendors. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. Bunch of Tomatoes: 30 rupees. The look on your face when I knock you off your motorbike with a well placed throw of one of those tomatoes: priceless.
To the person who decided that women's clothing in India should almost always be worn with leggings: you're my hero. I've never had a more comfortable wardrobe than the clothing I've bought here. Except for maybe my extensive collection of sweatpants back home, but those are a little harder to pull off with heels.
To the people in Russia, South Korea and the Ukraine who are reading this blog: who the hell are you and why do you care about what I'm doing in India? I don't recall knowing anyone in those three countries, so I have to guess that you're either conducting research on snarky American slang, you too are planning to move to Mumbai for a period of 3 months and want to learn from my mistakes (hint: Smaash isn't actually a restaurant), or that you have so little going on in your lives that you spend all day using blogs of random tourists as a window to the outside world. If you make yourselves known via the comments section then I'll send you some home-made chocolate chip cookies or something...if only for my own peace of mind to know that I haven't gained any additional foreign stalkers on top of the ones I already have (cough-Tunisian dudes-cough). That's a topic for an entirely different blog, though.
To anyone interested in attending our next fabulous party, stay tuned. We'll have to come up with another excuse for having a party - how about "Let's Drink The Wine We Didn't Finish At The Last Party?" Don't worry, we'll have cheese there too. Because we're classy like that.
I have no idea how this post turned up on my flipboard, but it seems I missed an awesome party!
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