Welcome back to The Dating Game for our season finale! After weeks of dating, our bachelorette is ready to hand out the final roses (yes, I'm mixing dating show metaphors - get over it). These bachelors proved to be a...diverse bunch of men, each with his own strengths - though some with more than others. Since the purpose of this dating game wasn't to find an actual mate but rather to meet interesting people and see the city of Mumbai, our bachelorette will be giving her final roses to the men with whom she expects she'll keep in contact after she leaves the city - as friends, of course. For all the runners up, she will be giving out some consolation prizes before sending them on their merry way. Let's start with the losers, shall we?
The Worst Follow-Through Award goes to Mr. Pampered Man-child. This guy had more opportunities to meet up with our bachelorette than any of the other bachelors, and he still couldn't actually make it happen. The more he asked her to cook him dinner for their first date, or whined about how he can't meet her because it would mean going outside in the rain, the less she wanted to meet up with him. Too bad, so sad.
The Quit While You're Behind Award goes to Mr. Possibly Wears Eyeliner on the Weekends. Our bachelorette heard way more than she ever wanted to about his alternative lifestyle. Perhaps she could have excused a couple off-color comments on the first date, but after what seemed like hours spent listening to his catalogue of exploits, it was enough to make her stomach turn. Plus this guy didn't know when to give up - he still texts our bachelorette to this very day with debaucherous suggestions that make her happy she will be leaving this phone number behind in a few weeks.
The Long Distance Courtship Award goes to Mr. Wildlife Photographer, who lives in Tamil Nadu - which is really freaking far away from Mumbai. They must not have very many women in southern India because why else is he looking for companionship with a foreigner living in Mumbai? Sorry, buddy, but she's not going to fly to a different city to meet up with you for a first date.
The One-Sided Personality Award goes to Mr. Party Baby. Even though he's still not of a legal drinking age in Mumbai (where the drinking age is 25), he's still the life of the party. It's unclear whether he's actually going to graduate from the prestigious university he attends, but I doubt he'd even notice flunking out through the haze of alcohol and trance music that fill his days. He can barely muster up a "what kind of food do you like?" conversation starter, but if you're in the mood for killing some brain cells, look no further than this winner of a bachelor.
The Idiot Award goes to none other than Mr. Harmless Sociopath. After initial success with our bachelorette caused by riling up her competitive side with his admission that he's never felt a glimmer of emotion for any woman - ever, he tried to have his cake and eat it too by asking out one of her good friends. Idiot.
The Fishy Smell Award goes to Mr. Pushy Pilot. His facebook profile looked incredibly suspicious when 25 out of his 26 friends were young, attractive women. This fake profile means he's hiding something...perhaps a "misplaced" wedding ring?
The Can't Close The Deal Award goes to Mr. Bling Bling. You had her on the line - all you had to do was reel her in! Unfortunately, you chose to take the opportunity to try to sell her jewelry rather than leave her with the impression that she might at some point get it for free if she were to stay in your life. Poor guy ended up not getting a sale on either set of merchandise - the jewelry or himself...
The Blue In The Face Award goes to Mr. Straight Talk. His blustering and argumentative style failed to generate any romantic passion in our bachelorette, and instead left her feeling deprived of oxygen from all of the arguments. She wishes you all the best in finding a woman who appreciates your...opinionated...nature and stubborn refusal to consider a different point of view.
The Worst Follow-Through Award goes to Mr. Pampered Man-child. This guy had more opportunities to meet up with our bachelorette than any of the other bachelors, and he still couldn't actually make it happen. The more he asked her to cook him dinner for their first date, or whined about how he can't meet her because it would mean going outside in the rain, the less she wanted to meet up with him. Too bad, so sad.
The Quit While You're Behind Award goes to Mr. Possibly Wears Eyeliner on the Weekends. Our bachelorette heard way more than she ever wanted to about his alternative lifestyle. Perhaps she could have excused a couple off-color comments on the first date, but after what seemed like hours spent listening to his catalogue of exploits, it was enough to make her stomach turn. Plus this guy didn't know when to give up - he still texts our bachelorette to this very day with debaucherous suggestions that make her happy she will be leaving this phone number behind in a few weeks.
The Long Distance Courtship Award goes to Mr. Wildlife Photographer, who lives in Tamil Nadu - which is really freaking far away from Mumbai. They must not have very many women in southern India because why else is he looking for companionship with a foreigner living in Mumbai? Sorry, buddy, but she's not going to fly to a different city to meet up with you for a first date.
The One-Sided Personality Award goes to Mr. Party Baby. Even though he's still not of a legal drinking age in Mumbai (where the drinking age is 25), he's still the life of the party. It's unclear whether he's actually going to graduate from the prestigious university he attends, but I doubt he'd even notice flunking out through the haze of alcohol and trance music that fill his days. He can barely muster up a "what kind of food do you like?" conversation starter, but if you're in the mood for killing some brain cells, look no further than this winner of a bachelor.
The Idiot Award goes to none other than Mr. Harmless Sociopath. After initial success with our bachelorette caused by riling up her competitive side with his admission that he's never felt a glimmer of emotion for any woman - ever, he tried to have his cake and eat it too by asking out one of her good friends. Idiot.
The Fishy Smell Award goes to Mr. Pushy Pilot. His facebook profile looked incredibly suspicious when 25 out of his 26 friends were young, attractive women. This fake profile means he's hiding something...perhaps a "misplaced" wedding ring?
The Can't Close The Deal Award goes to Mr. Bling Bling. You had her on the line - all you had to do was reel her in! Unfortunately, you chose to take the opportunity to try to sell her jewelry rather than leave her with the impression that she might at some point get it for free if she were to stay in your life. Poor guy ended up not getting a sale on either set of merchandise - the jewelry or himself...
The Blue In The Face Award goes to Mr. Straight Talk. His blustering and argumentative style failed to generate any romantic passion in our bachelorette, and instead left her feeling deprived of oxygen from all of the arguments. She wishes you all the best in finding a woman who appreciates your...opinionated...nature and stubborn refusal to consider a different point of view.
The I Can't Tell If We're Dating Award goes to a nameless individual who never made his intentions clear. He acts sometimes as if he wants to be more than friends but other times shows no interest whatsoever. Our bachelorette didn't have the time to figure out your true feelings and so relegated you to the "friend zone." Who knows, though, maybe that's where you wanted to be all along?
And now for the winners in the group....
The second runner up rose goes to Mr. Awkward Finance Dude. He was a latecomer to the bachelorette's life, after having to cancel their first couple dates due to last-minute work trips. He didn't have enough time to woo his way into her heart, but he gets her jokes about M&A and has the decency to actually laugh at them, regardless of how funny they may be.
The first runner up rose goes to Mr. Wannabe Cowboy. He seemed to have it all - charm, intellect, ambition, kindness. If only he hadn't spent so much time away from Mumbai - and been the most inconsistent text messager ever - he might have developed a true friendship with our bachelorette. As it stands, she'll always remember him fondly and would be happy to see him again if their paths cross again...
And the winner of the dating game - after months of research and bad dates - is none other than Mr. Bollywood Heartthrob! Our bachelorette is more surprised than anyone to declare him winner, but he was the dark horse candidate that came through in the end. Aside from his sweet nature and entertaining anecdotes, this bachelor has proven himself to be a truly loyal friend as well as an engaging suitor. After seeing how distraught our bachelorette was about her upcoming birthday, he brought her a birthday present with a card that read "Turning 30 isn't really all that bad. Many happy returns of the day!" Of course this relationship has no long term potential romantically, but our bachelorette expects they will stay friends for years to come...
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